PDF Download , by JD Franx
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, by JD Franx
PDF Download , by JD Franx
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Product details
File Size: 4991 KB
Print Length: 741 pages
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Publisher: JD Franx; 1 edition (October 24, 2016)
Publication Date: October 24, 2016
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01MF4CDLH
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#41,995 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I was really in the mood for a good wizard story and the cover really caught my eye - awesome looking! Sadly, this wasn't as good as I was hoping. I did like the overall story idea. Baby is born with horrible powers and sent to Earth to live, hopefully forever, to save their world from the prophecy that foretells this child will cause another cataclysm (assuming they read the prophecy correctly). Evil witches bring him back because they worship his kind that typically bring about mass cataclysmic destruction. Too bad nobody told the so called dark wizard that he was supposed to be evil.Sounds awesome right? Unfortunately there were several issues I had with the way this story was told.The biggest issue I have with this story is the vast amount of info dumping that takes place with a lot of that information repeated several times throughout just to make sure we didn't forget the first time. It seems like this author's idea of world building is to drop an encyclopedia of information at any excuse. It made for very boring stretches in the book. One of the very first info dumps is missing the technical word in the text at the end of a long detailed description and I just shrugged and didn't care. I had to take several breaks from reading this story because of all the boring information shoved in my face. It made the story feel like it was mostly all tell and little show.The second biggest issue is the emotional detachment and lack of differentiation I had with the POV characters. Although the POV changes between several characters (see below for my comment on that), we rarely get inside the head of the person. Instead it's mostly impersonal and makes the writing feel emotionless for the most part. Although there is a bit of vomiting and some pacing and crying, there aren't other external indicators of a person's emotional state. I'd even welcome some over done braid pulling at this point (WoT reference there). There also isn't any difference between the characters. Everyone for the most part talks the same, even the cussing is the same as the Earth born. You could replace the names of each argumentative personality with the others like them and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference because they are all flat and one dimensional. I don't require people to speak in slang or such, but each POV character should be distinct enough to be able to tell at a glance which POV character the chapter is about without having to tell the reader who it is. I feel like we have maybe four total characters - Sweet but scared, argumentative, smart mouth, and crazy evil.The other real huge issue is the lack of character development.The way the characters started at the beginning are the way they ended up. Even the dark wizard who is tortured doesn't change all that much. The people squabbling at the beginning never change their attitude even when presented with new information. They remain combative and set in their belief of what needs to happen. The only change for some people is through the gaining of new magic and/or weapons.Someone already mentioned the many POV characters which I normally don't have a problem with but new ones were tossed in at the end when they should have been saved for book 2 since they didn't really add anything to the tension or story telling. I get that these people will be important in the next book, but we've already had enough characters and nations to keep track of already. I think the general rule of thumb is to stop adding new characters once you hit the middle of your story arc. After reading this story I tend to agree with that idea.The other big thing missing is tension - that burning need to read the next chapter because you have to know what happens next. There wasn't enough foreshadowing in the ArchMage's group to give that plot thread enough tension as they are chasing after the dark wizard. Stuff just happens out of nowhere to them without any good ramp up time and they get out of trouble using tricks rather than any intelligence. Also there wasn't really a conclusion to this plot thread - they just keep on chasing. Other POV scenes we get dumped into are at the beginning of their story arc which would have been better served to be put in reserve for book 2. The only plot thread that has a conclusion is the dark wizard's group which had a little bit of tension in a small section of a rather bland arc.Advice to the author: The best way to approach multiple POVs is to only do this with your important characters that are distinct enough from each other and to make sure each POV story could be told on its own and still be interesting enough to want to keep reading. Each separate thread should have their own climax and conclusion or cliff hanger. Reading Game of Thrones or stuff by Brent Weeks or Brandon Sanderson or Jim Butcher off the top of my head can show you how to effectively use changing POV to greatest impact.Other more minor issues:The combat tended to be very short lived and then we are back to a slow pace again.I also didn't like that when in a tight spot, BAM a new instinctive dunno how I did it magical ability was used to get them out of the tight spot. There was no strategy or advanced planning on the part of anyone to try and get out of the mess. The best one was when a character said 'lets just wait and see what happens.' I eye rolled when I read that line because I knew... yup... instant solution. Sigh.In summary, the book has a great idea and has a lot going on but with so much info dumping and lack of emotion it became a chore to read. I had to take several breaks and come back later when normally you can't drag me from a book until I finish it. Even though I found a lot of it boring, I will buy the next one because the story was interesting enough that I want to find out what happens next. I'm also hoping that book 2 has more action involving the dark wizard rather than him being out of commission for most of it and a lot less info dumping.
Despite a confusing start and far too many characters, this book had promise. I was unable to finish reading it because the writing was so AWFUL! So thankful I only wasted 99 cents.Some examples to show what I mean. (If these don't bother you, then ignore this review.)=================================... strength depended on ... it was called a mystic’s. (incomplete sentence or just badly written?)... the more power one had, the more power he or she could ... (one had, one could)... no choice but to appoint the largest remaining responsibility ... (appoint???)... it’s capital city ... (its)... slapped Rath upside the head ... (today’s slang doesn’t fit, especially in the voice of the narrator)Laying in the dark ... (persistent misuse of lie/lay; also persistent use of “towards†instead of “towardâ€)... at the sight of the attack ... (site)... comprised of fifty ... members ... (persistent grammatical error, using comprise as synonymous with compose)... have systematically exterminating ... (presumably a “been†has been lost somehow)... as the downside to a wizard’s busy mind took control. (The author presumably meant a simple declarative thought, but the temptation to be clever won out; a persistent challenge for this author, especially in scene-setting and internal dialogue)... then the vines growth will increase in veracity. (Painful when any level of copy-editing could have fixed both these errors)Ember chuckled at the friction between Yrlissa and Max, confident she’d see Kael soon. (Nothing amusing about the friction at this point in the narrative, nor does her confidence have anything to do with the friction; just another sentence that a decent editor would never have allowed into publication)... bridge was rife with danger ... (Example of trite usage that burdens nearly every page of this book)... the benefit of being invisible ... (how about “invisibilityâ€?)... what had shook them from their nests ... (shaken)Dressed in wool rags that hung from her thin frame, it left her arms and legs bare. (Far too many sentences like this, wherein the aim of simple description is undercut by the author’s attempt to be indirect ... oh, and the lack of an editor on the alert for pronouns in search of a referrent.)... heal the one that had been assigned ... (should be "who had been assigned," though the sentence would be better if "one that had been" were simply stricken)This is insane. (A present-tense sentence in a past-tense paragraph.)A short way off of ... (or, as almost every other English-language writer on the planet would say, “Nearâ€)============================Oh, well, you get the idea. Beware, this book is so badly written it will break your brain.
I chose four out of five because honestly I've read some crappy books lately and this one grabbed me quickly once I started. Has a good plot and "ploy" if you catch my meaning. I'm not an editor or a wannabe editor (can ya tell) like so many people who review these fantasy books are, or pretend to be. I just like to read and this book had just enough meat with out falling in love with itself to make it a solid read. There are errors, fewer than most, more than some. Being a dad I'd recommend it for adults, maybe young adult. ENJOY
This book was a struggle. Some writers' words just flow with a certain rhythm, almost pulling you through the book... This writer's words were like walking uphill, on a rocky trail, where you rarely had good footing... But for some reason I stubbornly kept walking. The scale of the story us very ambitious. Some of the action is pretty good. The characters are interesting, with some depth and backstory... The pace if the book feels pretty good, except the author us all over the place, jumping from one storyline to another every couple of pages.. The character interactions are confusing at times, and some if the dialogue is just terrible... I'm going to read the next book. I want to know what happens.
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